I don't know if I'm really getting better or am I just getting used to the pain.

It's always you, and someone else.

"Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I have a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly."

- Charlotte Brontë by Jane Eyre

I just wanna be happy tonight.

And sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me and I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad, and hurt and once again I become numb to the world.

You know what, I don't know. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Because it's not natural, it's not womanly, maybe I am cold and heartless and dead inside.

Most of the times, I wish with all my heart that I can be someone who takes in all the good and bad, and still love you without any change in spite of it. That I can truly love you for who you are. It's impossible that we won't be unhappy, but I wish that my love can make me someone who's more selfless. Instead of dwelling on my own emotions, to be more accepting.

But sometimes, my love just isn't enough.

"The silence drew off, baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life.. then it gathered itself, and in one sweeping tide, rushed me to sleep."

- Sylvia Plath

One of my most favourite women on earth.