I didn't come here to hold you now I can't stop

I went to watch Ninja Assassin with the boys yesterday and the movie totally sucked. It's all just plain gory and blood keeps squirting out like nobody's business. Fucking retarded. But nonetheless, Rain's body was totally holy jizz.

Today was pretty nice too, I attended this Charity Bazaar held at Glad Tidings. I know you'll never find me at churches but at least it's all for a good cause. I'm feeling so bummed out right now, like I just don't want to do anything else at all..

I love you enough to let you go

I don't want to look at the things that I've done,
I don't want to dwell into the possibilities, the "what ifs" or the "what might have been",
it's all just distorted messed up dreams with my falling arms and
my bloodshot eyes that thread the flowing water,
mindlessly losing the vague drumming beat of my heart,
and running away from everything that's chasing after me.

I'm home from PD and my body feels like its on fucking fire.

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong

So my days have consisted of
twisted dreams,
porcelain memories,
holding onto a blurry eyed romantist,
and waking up
as a whole complete different person.

Won't blog much for today. Packing up for my trip to PD with the guys and girls tomorrow. Had a nice night last night at Renaissance and dim sum at Shangri La this afternoon. And I just got back from a pretty damn good full body massage with my mom. Everything aches, but what doesn't?

All of tomorrow's

"Are there ever adequate words for this experience? When you are suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of feeling, a knowing, when you are drawn to someone in this way? With the strength of the unavoidable?"

- Deb Caletti

My eyes are wide open, but my arms are not

November is dying in a slow pace, just like these hands, feet and skin, they are growing old, beautifully turning into dead leaves. And as much as I am hanging onto the sun, the moon and the stars, trying hard to wash away all regrets, all mistakes, all hatred and all pain, it won't be long until I disappear into thin air.